Chili Peppers in your Shitty Pink Wine
When I first saw the Bon Appetit article suggesting that I add sliced jalapenos and rose to my bouquet, I considered getting mad. Still, I remembered telling you to add pickles to your shitty beer. I was too tired to feel any anger.
A few pepper slices in a glass with cheap wine don’t seem so extreme when considering all the spicy cocktails available. Bon Appetit reports that the practice, popularized by TikTok user Allyssa from the Kitchen, started as a joke.
Although it’s not something you should do on a delicate, nuanced, or dry rose, I found it acceptable to add a few slices to a glass of super-cheap, sweet pink wine. I did. It wasn’t hard.
Because the store had run out of jalapeno peppers, I bought a Yellow Tail rose for 9 dollars and a serrano. I sliced them thinly and then stuffed eight small pepper rings in an old jam jar. I then poured the wine over them and let everyone get to know one another for a while before taking a sip. How many mojitos can one make and still feel satisfied? For me, the answer is many. Blanche would agree that it has been many, many, many times. Recently, while creating cocktail slushies at a local microbrewery, I was confronted with my monogamous love for slight variations of classic cocktails. It’s almost like going to a furniture store to purchase something for your apartment, only to buy yet another bed for your dog (most recently a Ratan chaise) when you needed a nightstand. It made me wonder if my cocktail list was becoming a rotating collection of less cute dog beds.
The wine lacked depth and flavor, but it added some dimension. Although it was mildly spicy at the back, the peppery aroma made it even more intriguing. It had a pleasant, hot, and verdant aroma. These tasting notes are not uncommon in the wine world. Although the flavors are more prominent in this context, I have seen more than one bottle with “bell pepper” and “jalapeno” listed on the labels. It also made the wine more glug-able by tempering its sweetness, which I like in low-priced wine.
It is a great party trick if you have several peppers to choose from. Pickles are a great accompaniment to the peppers. It is for beer drinkers.